This post won't interest you much unless you live in Oregon.

I've been seeing advertisements lately accusing Bill Sizemore of racketeering and fraud, which appear to be true. I also see that once again a number of ballot measures are Sizemore projects. This seems incongruous to me. It occurred to me that perhaps what's needed is a ballot measure banning any measures sponsored by Sizemore or any Sizemore-affiliate.

But then, a better initiative occurred to me: an idea I'm now naming the Bill Sizemore Handjob Fund. This would be a ballot initiative that declares that any time a Sizemore measure is shown to have forged signatures, a number of handjobs equal to the number of forgeries is put into a "handjob pool". This pool would be available to people who don't often receive handjobs, namely the homeless and the homely. Vouchers could be issued in soup lines, homeless shelters, cat shows, and other places where the poor and ugly congregate. Whenever a voucher is presented to a policeman, that policeman could escort the voucher-holder to Bill Sizemore's place of residence to verify that the holder receive the handjob in question.

This seems like an all-around win for everyone involved. The otherwise handjobless are blessed with expert handjobs, the voters are protected against fraud, and Bill Sizemore keeps doing what he does best: political whoring.